Introduction

The writing of this book was motivated by concerns we all seem to share about American society and the apparent disappearance of what has come to be known as “family values.” We can hardly get through the day without hearing or reading about family values in one context or another. Politicians, religious leaders, and educators all seem to be concerned with this subject yet they never seem to have a reasonable definition of “family values.”

The constituents of these leaders, the grass roots of our society, feel a similar concern about family values. When the question is asked of them, however, “What are family values?” no one seems to have an answer that makes sense. Nevertheless, these concerned people share a certain frustration, a feeling that “things” are not as they should be in America. They also seem to share the sense that if we could just return to the family values of an earlier time, things would once again be all right. Yet few people, if any, that I know or know of, are anti-family or against the values that traditional families embody. Surveys taken conclude that most people enthusiastically support marriage and raising families, they generally seem to disapprove of adultery, and they want their kids to grow up to be law-abiding members of society. Along with the underlying frustration, there seems to be a bit of nostalgia. People seem to want to return to:

· A past time that was more tranquil and stable.

· A time when drugs and crime were not rampant.

· A time when parents didn’t have to worry about their children’s safety at school.

· A time when providers of entertainment were not obsessed with gratuitous sex and violence.

· A time when people were civil and good manners were typical.

· A time when kids could play unattended by an adult without fear of being abducted or molested in some way.

So, precisely what is it that people mean by family values? I submit that we have adopted this phrase to describe moral and social well-being. I believe, our country has a crisis of moral and social well-being on its hands. We seem to be entering the 21^st century in a state of moral and social decline. People sense this and are concerned. Some talk show hosts submit that we are facing this problem because we no longer spank our children. Other concerned people say institutions have taken our rights as parents away. Still others blame the decay on video games, comic books, and other media. But what all of America seems to share is frustration because we don’t know what precisely to do about it. People feel helpless about what they can do to turn things around to put a halt to the moral and social decline. That an overwhelming number of people feel this way is understandable. I submit that we cannot find a solution to this moral decline and halt the vanishing of our values unless we first understand the complexity of causes that have brought us to where we are today. Only then can a coherent solution to the problem be developed and carried out. This book seeks to do both; to review the causes and recommend solutions.

Although it may appear that the causes for the decline of values in our society are isolated and independent, they are the result of many contributing factors. These are interconnected much as are the overlapping fibers in a length of rope. Once we come to understand how we got ourselves in the mess that we are in, we can begin to construct a way out of it. The good news is that we, as human beings, have the power to right the moral and social course of this country. But to reverse our moral decline will require widespread personal commitment on the part of the American people.

Such a commitment, first and foremost, requires individuals to take full responsibility for their behavior. We all make mistakes. When we do, we must refrain from pointing a finger at someone else. We must own up to our mistakes and willingly pay the price. Furthermore, people must give up the all-too-pervasive victim mentality, the mindset that “I am not a fault because I suffer from some physical or psychological handicap.” Ultimately, what all this means is that people must take back control of their own lives and understand that they own their behavior and are therefore responsible for it. As the saying goes, “The buck stops here.” And here means each one of us. Without such a personal commitment, the future of this country is highly questionable.